Narcs, Manipulators and Toxic People

People to stay away from :

People manipulate to get what they want out of you.

When you truly love yourself, you can spot them from a mile away.

These people are child like. They never learned to respect the boundaries.

They think if they pushed and pushed, they can get away with what they want. They must have learned this trait from the parent or sibling.

They learned these tactics over time to control the outcome of a situation.

They're extremely insecure and have very fragile egos. When you say NO to them, you're creating a wound and you're bruising their ego.

Life is a game for them - whos winning, who is loosing, whos in control.

They dont sit down and think rationally whats fair or compromise with you. 

"They just want what they want and they want it NOW."

When they want an answer, they want it now. They dont give you a second to think. - Very pushy

Unfortunately, these are the people that know you very well. They know what you're fearful of, vulnerable to and where your wounds are. They use whatever tactic it takes to get what they want out of you.

They use your vulnerabilities against you to control you.

When all else fails. Here is where the abuse starts the bullying, the threatening and the name calling. (Yo'u're selfish, you're crazy etc)

All these tactics to make you doubt yourself and make you feel, what you feel is wrong and you should be giving them what they want because they're deserve it. (GUILT and SHAME)

They also have sense of entitlement. It doesn't matter what you want or how you feel. This is what I want and I deserve it right now.

If you're not giving it to me then you're going to get some backlash.

They invited you into their life because you dont have SOLID SENSE OF SELF or a SOLID FOUNDATION OF SELF LOVE IN LIFE.

you're just very bendable and give people whatever they want without really stop and think about what you want in the situation.

When you LOVE YOURSELF. You feel connected to how you feel and what you feel. You set a healthy boundary and enforce the boundary.

HOW DO WE DEAL WITH THESE PEOPLE

1) Stay connected. Know what you want and how you feel.

2) Stand you Ground - Enforce your boundary. Telling NO might be weird and uncomfortable. You may get some backlash, guilt, shame and then the abusive behavior. But Stand your ground.

3) Be Prepared for the backlash : Bullying and threatening may happen and it may throw you off your game.

NO NEED TO GET DEFENSIVE OR ANGRY AT SOMEONE. THEY'RE REALLY SHOWING YOU WHO THEY ARE AND THEIR OWN CHARACTER.

SIT BACK, STAY IN YOUR TRUTH AND SAY TO THEM I AM SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

People that want to rush you into things can totally ruin your life. It happened to me. So glad I’m reading your posts. I am now 67 and wish this kind of help was around when I was 19 and in college meeting all kinds of personalities-some good and some seemingly good that were actually VERY manipulative. Young adults need this kind of information in health and p.e. classes before they leave high school.

Tell them NO, and don't let them guilt trip you about it either!

Don't be a doormat and never allow people to use you

Guilt tripping and childlike moods if you don’t do or give him what she wants. Constantly wanting me to do what he wants me to do when he decides